When I say this year has been one of new horizons, I’m not only talking about the issues I’ve been dealing with to get my husband a visa to live with me in the US. I’m not even talking about the massive amount of unveiling going on in the news worldwide about corruption and down and dirty deeds being uncovered.
I’m talking about the internal horizons that have opened up for me. This isn’t the same landscape I was so familiar with three years ago when I started this journey with the Golden Age of Gaia discussion forum and my association with Steve Beckow’s beautiful blog. It isn’t even the same terrain that I knew from three months ago.
I’ve been staying quiet, just struggling to integrate what’s going on. A part of me has been frustrated that there seemed to be no way to share it. Even now, to give a play-by-play would take a book, and I already know this is a book I’m not going to write.
What I am going to do is share the gist of it, and I hope that this will show what can happen to an ordinary person whose intent and consistent desire is to serve as a conduit of the Divine.
In order to even begin to get here to this place of serving there’s a process that’s happened. A giant part of this process for so many of us is the breaking down of the beliefs that lie hidden under the feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. This process for me has been one of many layers and I’ll spare you the dismal tale, but it’s been a long term project and one that has ravished me over and over again.
On one side of the path is the fear/guilt/shame (read programming) and on the other is the realization that none of my stories have diddly to do with me. For years and years, I’ve been bouncing from one side of the path to the other, just like most of the people I know who are aware enough to even bounce. The last year or so has been a deeper and deeper layer-ripping fiasco, and many of us feel so tired of it we could scream.
But here is where the story for me starts to get really interesting. I’ve been expanding at an accelerated rate and this has been going on since at least last May. Pieces to the puzzle have been falling into place for me day by day, even as more puzzling pieces have come along to replace them in my inner world.
About a week ago, I got the nudge to start automatic writing, and this has started a whole new sort of dialog for me. Most of this is personal at this point, but perhaps there will be something to share later with a wider audience. Be this as it may, in a healing session with a dear friend two days ago, I had an amazing experience, one that opened up an entirely new perception range of what is real in my life.
It was during the time of the session that I was resting quietly in order to receive the energies being sent long distance. In the middle of the session I saw myself. I mean for the first time. I saw myself as a light body and what that looked like. What I saw I will never forget and the knowing that accompanied it is emblazoned on my mind and in my heart forever. Like a line drawn in the sand, this is one of those times when there’s no turning back and retreating into the past. In terms of perception, I’m beyond the doubts about whether or not I AM Divine.
What I saw looked like me, only it was blazing with golden liquid looking light that was intensely bright. There was so much light coming off my crown that it looked like a crown of light was on my head with spikes in a fan. My skin was firm, only transparent and glistening. Perhaps shining is a better word, but finding words to express this is challenging. I was much bigger than I’ve ever thought of myself too.
Looking into my own eyes took me directly into another layer of this expansion. It took me into the eyes of the Divine Mother and I merged with Her. I watched/felt/was with Her and I saw the entire Universe as Her body. I moved with Her through ‘time and space’, and as We moved I knew that this movement was a direct expression of Her Love and Desire, and I knew this movement as eternal. The bliss of this isn’t even translatable into words. It’s the singing of the cells, it’s the wings on the heart.
The knowing part of this experience was also larger, oh, so much larger than life. I knew my origins were angelic and my multi-dimensional perspectives opened up like a floodgate. I’ve never before had any idea who I am. Who I am is More. I simply don’t have any better way to describe this yet.
Directly following this, I saw the team of those who are communicating by automatic writing with me now. There were so many of them, I felt like I was on stage in a stadium. There are many races both human and other than human, and yet at the same time, they are all ONE. ONE in great diversity is the best way I have to say this.
I’ve had a flood of memories coming back to me. Not the trickle from the past where I remember being here before or some random deja vu. There are so many of these memories of me it boggles the imagination. One could get lost in this, but the automatic writing has been helpful here, as it’s been saying not to get caught up in the past with the coming integrations in this new territory opening up. “No story is binding, no matter how potent…”
What will ultimately come of this, I don’t know, but what I’ve experienced here is cementing my own knowing about how important community is in going forward now. All the be-lie-fs about how we are separate are powerfully falling away, shredding and disintegrating before my eyes. More importantly, this is falling out of my heart, this mis-understanding, this mis-alignment with what is Real.
My experiences of being separate don’t hold a candle to this one experience of Being ONE. I think if this opening can happen for me, then it isn’t long until this is going to spread like wildfire out into the community, out into the collective consciousness.
Meet you all Here soon…